Down South, we like parties and festivals. If a friends says they are throwing a party, you know it is going to be a good time. Throwing a party takes some preparation. You don’t want to be in the kitchen when the drinks are being pour. It takes a couple of weeks pulling a tailgating party together and for a backyard barbeque, we start planning sometime a month out. We even create our own invites and mail them out.  If you are in a pinch, and forgot someone, you will attach that pretty made invite to an email and hit send.  We know a phone call is not enough . A true Southerner wants you to have a written invitation. My Mother, Bless Her Heart,  has a tattered steno binder where she keeps addresses . All through the years when you visited at her home, before you left , she would gracefully ask your address and number. She would hand you a pen that wrote in sharp black tucked in the binder . She taught me to never write an address or a check in red.    Later, she compiled them in her address book that she carries in her purse.  Needless to say,  this was past down to me . Thank goodness, now for the handy apps for creating contacts. I never have to offer a pen.  Mother would be shaking her head at me if she knew.

A big amount of time is spent in creating the theme or “atmosphere” as Mother would say.  Tablescaping is born in a Southern Girl. We have sets of dishes we use for each occasion.   We have loosen up a little bit on plates and glasses. You can find paper plates and solo cups at some functions, but the standard is firm on the serving dishes. Food is served in cookware.  We take great pride in our serving bowls and cake stands.  The table is not complete without a floral arrangement.  Since I am a designer, I get the phone call  saying, “I’m throwing a Low Boil and have 30 guests. Will you fix me up something pretty for the tables?” Being I’m not the best cook in the world; Gosh , how I love Sandra Lee, Semi-Homemaking,   I happily say, “ Leave your party flowers to me.” Just know, if we are having a party, somewhere there will be flowers on the table, even tailgating, you will see queen anne’s lace in a Pepsi bottle.   

Good food, lots of it will be on hand . The recipes are true Southern. And there is going to be a big dessert table sitting by itself. Desserts in the South have their place in the South.  The tables will be loaded and when asked for the recipe , my goodness, you don’t really remember. It is an old recipe past down in your family and all you do is add a pinch of this and a dab of that. 

If you happen to make your way to the South and lucky enough to be invited to a party someone is throwing,  you’ll get their blessings , if you bring a dish of your own. It is not in the invite. Southerners just know.  It’s etiquette.  

At a Backyard BarBeCue, here is what you can expect.  Grilled Brisket and Chicken, Hot potato salad, coleslaw , and  Pork and Beans, seasoned with onions, green peppers and  thin slices of hotdogs. The kids go back for this one. There will be a pineapple casserole, squash casserole, and vinegar base salad. Don’t forget the rolls  On the dessert table, expect to find chocolate pie, lemon pound cake, and better than sex cake and cupcakes for the kids. And the older folks are sitting by the ice cream maker, keeping it packed with ice.There will be corn hole boards, country golf and a few fireworks.    The tables will have hydrangea, hosta, wax myrtle, sunflowers gracing the tables.

If your invite  says we are just tailgating down by the river, make sure you bring your own cooler, stocked with beer and wine coolers. It doesn’t have to be fancy foodwise. Just some fried chicken, wings, hotdogs, burgers and coleslaw.  Throw in a bag of sliced apples and cubed cheese. And the guys love the chips and pretzels.. Dessert is cookies.  And remember lots of beer. There will be a sound system sitting on the back of a fella’s tailgate.  You will hear Darius Rucker at least once, singing Rock Me Baby, like an Wagon Wheel.  The girls know first hand to bring bug spray and a hat.   I show up with queen anne’s lace in mason jars .  This party goes on til after dark.

Living near the coast , you will get invited at least twice in the year to a low boil.  Come with a big appetite and lots of napkins.  You’ll find grits, vegetables and few side dishes, but the main table will be shrimp, crab legs,corn on cob, taters, onions, bay seasonings and butter , lots of it. It is steamed boiled and then it  spread out on a long table covered with paper.  The guys don’t sit down. They stand around the table and jack jar and crack the crab legs and and you will hear more than once,  “This taste like more.”     Desserts are pies made with every berry from the South.   The flowers are bright. Zinnias and Mums.

And if are kin to someone from the South, you will get the invitation to come on home .  The annual family reunion.  Remember that steno binder, my Mother keeps her addresses in.  Well, she pulls it out and starts writing her envelops.  This can go on for two to three days.  Mother invites second-cousins removed and even forgives you  if you went up north to make a living.  She knows you are Carolina at heart. You will get an invitation.

Family Reunions are an event. And the best way to describe this menu.  Everybody brings their favorite recipe.    You just bring your appetite.   The flowers will be seasonal and each table will be graced with its own centerpiece. 

See you at  “The Fat Table !”